Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Trusting, Letting Go, Allowing Life to Work Itself Out

“When you let go of everything you think you know and just trust, life has a way of working itself out that’s better than you could ever imagine.” ~Jackson Kiddard

If you’d asked me at 18 where I thought I’d be at 32, I’d have confidently (and naively) told you: “Married with kids.”

If you’d asked me at 25 where I thought I’d be at 32, I’d have confidently (and naively) told you: “Anywhere but married with kids.”

If you ask me now, at 31, where I think I’ll be at 32, I’ll tell you: “I have no idea, but I’m excited to find out.”

***

My co-workers and I were asked to take a Myers-Briggs personality test last week, and we received our results at yesterday’s department retreat.

I’m an ESFJ (extrovert, sensor, feeler, judger). Supposedly, mine is the most harmonizing of all personality types, a “Hostess of the World” who’s gracious, thoughtful, and eager to please.

And although I tested strongly in nearly every category, I definitely have introverted, intuitive, thinker personality characteristics.

I’m not, however, a perceiver. (I mean, I’m perceptive!, but I’m not a perceiver.)

Perceivers “prefer a flexible, spontaneous way of life,” and judgers, like me, “prefer a planned, decided, orderly way of life.”

Yes, PLEASE, on the latter! The former makes me anxious (to the point of panic attacks), and I avoid it whenever possible.

***

But life has a way of throwing curve balls, doesn’t it? And at some point, regardless of your personality type, you’re going to have to take them in stride (or, as my good friend Amy says: “Roll with it!”).

It’s never going to be as easy for me to “roll with it” as it is for others, but I'm making an effort to try.

Recently, a couple curve balls were thrown my way. Not bad, devastating, you’re-making-me-hate-my-life curve balls, but curve balls all the same.

And my first reaction is to shy—or, more accurately, run like hell—away from them.

Why? Because they’re disrupting my carefully-laid plans. The ones with who, when, where, why, and how defined exactly.

But really, where’s the fun in that?! (Wow. I just said that. And I actually mean it!)

***

Life is full of beauty. The crazy thing is, that beauty shows itself in unexpected places at unexpected times. In a sunset after a brutal storm. In a stranger’s smile. In a house made into a home. In a friend who becomes family. And in unconventional, sometimes uncomfortable, experiences that force you to grow, to open your mind, body, and heart to new possibilities.

So let go, trust, and allow life work itself out (better than you could have ever imagined).

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