A Truth-Seeking Journey

“If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting … and set out on a truth-seeking journey, … and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared—most of all—to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself…then truth will not be withheld from you.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

This quote’s been a favorite of mine for years now, perhaps because there’s so much truth in it. And it’s one I can always relate to, whether literally or figuratively, no matter where I’m at in my life.

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Being brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting…

Right now, I’m in the process of looking for a new home. I’m choosing to move away from everything I’ve ever known to try something different. I’m excited for it (because I think I’ll love it), while at the same time, apprehensive about it (because I might not).

Most people are supporting my decision. They’re asking about my progress. They’re taking time out of their busy schedules to answer questions and confirm I’m not looking at properties in sketchy areas. They’re helping me hunt for for-rent signs and offering to attend apartment/house viewings.

Some, though, are less than enthusiastic about my move because it makes them uncomfortable. They don’t understand it. They’d never do it.

A couple years ago, I'd have let their opinions affect mine. Now, I smile and say: “This is something I'm pulled toward, something I'm looking forward to.”

Do I question myself? Of course. Especially when my home-base at work will be shifting from Cleveland to Parma soon, which means staying in Medina as opposed to moving to Lakewood makes sense.

But you never grow if you never change. And since I’ve been saying I need to get out of the small-town ‘burbs for a while now, why squander an opportunity simply because things aren't happening exactly as I'd planned?

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Accepting everyone you meet along the way as a teacher …

Teachers are everywhere, all the time.

I’ve mentioned in previous blogs how numerous people helped shape my life. And while I learned from them (eventually…it always seemed to take way too long for me to “get it”), it was a negative situation instead of a positive one. Meaning I figured out what I didn’t want and who I wasn’t, but never what I did want or who I was.

After years and years of this, I decided to take a break. Instead of letting people in, I shut them out. I’ll forever stand behind that decision. It was necessary at the time because I needed to know who’d step up when I stepped down. (I was always pleasantly surprised and never really disappointed.)

And I learned a lot about myself. I worked through some deep-seeded issues. I found my voice and my self-confidence. I (finally) started figuring out what I wanted and who I was.

A major discovery during this period in my life was that it’s nearly impossible to work through a situation, to get over something, if you never deal with it.

Dealing with it can mean so many things. … A conversation. Multiple conversations. A big, blow-out fight. A change in behavior. Holding your own in a situation you’d rather avoid. Falling down, picking yourself up, and trying again.

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Rodney Yee’s Yoga for Strength and Flexibility is something I’ve done for years, mostly because it calms my mind and puts me in a less anxious state. There’s one pose—one-legged downward facing dog, where you’re on all fours and then bend one leg up and behind—that was always difficult for me.

Not only couldn’t I master it, but also, it was painful. After years of trying and failing, I finally gave up on it.

When I stopped attempting it, I stopped getting hurt. Perfect, right? No. Not quite.

Enter Cassandra, a certified yoga instructor (shameless plug for her business, Luna Sidera Yoga & Wellness, LLC: https://www.facebook.com/lunasiderayoga), who, not too long ago, gave me a private lesson. One of the poses she wanted me to try was—you guessed it—one-legged downward facing dog.

I didn’t want to. I knew if I did, I’d get hurt.

But she showed me how to position my hands and feet correctly, how to slowly shift my weight, how to bend my leg the right way.

And low and behold, I did the pose successfully for the first time in my life.

After that, I started trying it again during my Rodney Yee sessions. I almost fell a few times. When that happened, though, I’d stop, reposition myself, and try again. Months of practice later, I can say with confidence that one-legged downward facing dog ain’t no thing because I got it. And I do. I don’t even think twice about that pose anymore. I just do it.

And well, if that’s not a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is. :)

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Be brave enough to follow your heart, to regard everything that happens to you as a clue, to accept every person you meet as a teacher, to face your demons and forgive your weaknesses. Because in the end, what you’ll discover is yourself. Your imperfectly beautiful self.