My friend Cassandra is an amazing writer. Not only does she elicit images and feelings through her words, but she also speaks to me in a way nothing, and no one, else does.
This blog of hers--the part about slowing down in particular--touched me, made me think, encouraged me to take a step back and examine my behavior. And then change it.
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Running around like a chicken with your head cut off. Burning the candle at both ends. Never making time to stop and smell the roses.
Over the years, a lot of people have used these phrases to describe my behavior. And describe it accurately. I was always on the go, bouncing from one thing to the next.
It was a pattern that was difficult to break, especially because it was a defense mechanism of sorts. The busier I was, the less time I had to think. And the less time I had to think, the better. Because when I started that ball rolling, it never led me to a good place.
I finally stopped, though. Mostly because I fell in love with a dog who relied (and continues to rely) on me for companionship. And I realized the time I spend with Bella--whether it's exploring the neighborhood on our nightly walks or discussing my day over dinner and the Food Network--is so precious. Worth slowing down for.
What I didn't grasp was how impatient I remained about other things. Traffic. A line at the grocery store. My life going where I wanted it to go when I wanted it to go there.
But after reading Cassandra's blog, I've made an effort to be more patient.
Because, most of the time, 30 seconds after it happens, it's not going to matter whether someone cut me off during my commute. So why do I waste my energy screaming at them, pounding on my steering wheel, flicking them off?
Because, every once in a while, the woman who isn't paying attention and slides in front of me at the grocery store--in the "20 Items & Less" lane with a lot more than 20 items in her cart (I had three)--might be buying things to make gift baskets for a raffle to benefit a motorcycle-accident victim. (I'm so glad I didn't engage in what used to be my normal behavior tonight, sighing, rolling my eyes, stomping my feet. Instead, when the woman, realizing her "mistake," apologized for holding me up, I smiled and told her life was too short to get upset about something like this. And I meant it.)
Because, maybe, just maybe, I'm not as smart as I think I am. :) For the past few years, I've been saying I want to get out of Medina County, to move away from the towns where I grew up and have called home my entire life. But, upon taking a job that requires me to commute to the big city, I finally discovered the beauty of a country road, of cornfields, cows, and picket fences. And that doesn't mean I'm not interested in living somewhere else for a few years--if only to be able to say I've done it--but it made me very conscious of the fact that I've always been surrounded by amazing things. And it's time to start appreciating them for what they are.
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Life happens quickly, but, it's my belief that it also happens when and how it's supposed to. And while things are falling into place, why not stop and look around? Open your eyes, see what you've been missing?
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