The Power of Love

When we leave this world, we give up all our possessions and our memories. Love is the only thing we take with us. It is all we carry from one life to the next. ~Lang Leav

One of the neighbor girls approached me as I walked Bella tonight. The conversation went something like this...

Girl: Can I pet your dog?

Me: Sure!

Girl: Do you have kids?

Me: No.

Girl: A husband? 

Me: No.

Girl: (first she had a disappointed look on her face, and then, as another idea popped into her head, her eyes brightened) A boyfriend?!

Me: No.

Girl: You don't have ANYBODY??

Me: (now it was my turn to have a disappointed look on my face) I have lots of somebodies who love me. I'm holding out for a good one. And you should, too. Never settle.

The conversation made me sad. For that girl and for whoever is teaching her that women need a man and/or a child to be happy. 

Why aren't we teaching our daughters to go out and do for themselves? To secure a job they enjoy that allows them financial security. To buy (or rent) a house and make it into a home. To nurture friendships with good people who have their best interests at heart. And if a man comes along who enriches the beautiful life they've built for themselves, by themselves, then date him, marry him, have children with him. But if he doesn't, then don't.

Why aren't we teaching our sons that there's strength in vulnerability? My heart hurts every time I walk through the park during little league practice and I hear coaches screaming at seven-year-old boys when they miss a tackle or don't catch a ball. Winning a game isn't something that makes you a good man, and by instilling in them that it is (instead of instilling something like kindness or expressing their emotions), we're doing them a great disservice. One they'll carry with them for a lifetime.

***

My life's changed drastically during the last year and a half. Some would call it spiritual enlightenment after a "dark night of the soul." Some would call it having processed the grief of a tragic loss. I'd call it both.

Spiritual enlightenment is different for everyone. For me, it's been the understanding and the acceptance that we're not alone in the Universe. That there's a higher power, that nothing in this life is accidental, that I chose this path long before I incarnated in this lifetime, that my soul never dies (and neither does anyone else's). 

I believe my mom leaves me signs (lately, it's been feathers...so many feathers :)) to let me know she's with me. She does the same for my dad and for my sister, too. 

I believe in synchronicity, that it's the Universe's way of answering a question or helping me work through karma. Like meeting and befriending someone whose mom died a month after mine did. Someone who pushes me out of my comfort zone because of his #yolo lifestyle. Someone I ground a bit because of mine. 

Grief is different for everyone, too. For me, it's been a roller coaster of emotions. It's forced me to deal with and overcome things I never wanted to, never thought I'd have to. It's helped me change and grow, to be kinder and more understanding, to tell the people I love that I love them, to ensure I live my life in a way so that, looking back, I have no regrets. 

I've learned that it's okay to say no, to do what's good for me and not apologize for it. I've learned that most people do the very best they can, and instead of judging their behavior, I should love them in spite of it. I've learned that this world is a beautiful place (even on its ugliest days).

And, maybe most importantly, I've learned that Love is the answer. To every question. 

We must learn to love others, and ourselves, so we can teach our daughters and sons to do the same. We must learn to love change so we can love growth, to love warmth so we can love coldness, to love life so we can love death. 

Because when we learn to love without conditions, when we learn to teach love without conditions, we'll create a world that's more beautiful than the one in which we already live.

So find Love. Cherish it. Carry it with you always.