Saturday, July 11, 2015

Fear: The Only Way Out Is Through

“We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand … that knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.” ~Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

In the first part of this quote, Meredith questions why people procrastinate, and she concludes it’s because of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of making a decision.

Fear, and overcoming it, have been dominant themes in my life lately. So, when this quote popped into my head—especially because I’ve been searching for the perfect one to use for a fear-based blog—I decided tonight was the night.

***


Stepping out of my comfort zone isn’t something that’s ever been easy for me. I like consistency, routines, because they make me feel safe and secure.

It took me a long time to realize that, just because something is consistent, part of a routine, doesn’t mean it’s safe or secure. On the contrary, a lot of people and situations with which I surrounded myself were toxic and dysfunctional.

And here’s the thing: realizing there’s a problem is just the first step. The next is not only accepting the situation needs to change, but also, accepting that what you want is what you deserve. And then, you have to start living in a way that guarantees your hopes and dreams become your reality (by ridding yourself of toxicity and dysfunction, by refusing to settle).

It’s hard. All of it. Because you’ll be tested, so much so that you’ll question whether you made the right decision, whether it’s worth it, whether you’ll ever get what you want. And the answer to those questions is yes. Every. Single. Time. YES.

***

Recent discovery: I’m ready to stop being so independent. I’m ready to allow men into my life for the first time in a long time. And I’m willing to accept the hurt, the anxiety, the discomfort that goes along with that decision. Why? Because ultimately, I want to settle down, get married, and build a life with someone.

I haven’t necessarily met “the one” yet, but I have had the opportunity to meet—or become reacquainted with, in some cases— complex, fragile, amazing, beautiful people with whom I’m blessed to share my time. Who teach me, who challenge me, who respect me, who “know” me, who love me. Because of them, my life is fuller, better, and I'm so grateful I let them in as opposed to shut them out.

So have the courage to know, to wake, to try, because what you’ll get? Well, everything you’ve ever wanted, of course. <3 

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