Nothing's An Accident

“I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

This blog’s been a long time coming. Not as in: “It’s been a while since I’ve written,” but as in: “My life experiences are finally starting to make sense.”

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It amazes me—and probably always will—to see how things change over time. One minute I was in college, solidifying friendships over alcohol and secrets, my biggest worry studying for a test or writing a paper. The next, I had a full-time job and big-kid commitments, like bills to pay, a dog to take care of, a house to maintain.

But believe it or not, I wouldn’t go back there, to being 22 and naïve with no real life experience and a head full of unrealistic dreams. Not for anything.

Living—truly living—hurts. But it’s the only way to discover what you want, need, deserve. And it’s imperative to experience the bad before appreciating the good.

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Life lessons are everywhere. But they’re tricky, because sometimes we’re not meant to learn from them immediately. It can take years for everything to fall into place and finally make sense. And that only happens if we’re open to it.

Why do you grow apart from significant others or best friends? Why does your parent’s health take a turn for the worse? Why does your job become menial and unfulfilling?

Because you inherited a dog or met a mutual acquaintance who changed your life. Because you were able to help someone going through a similar situation. Because you were meant for something big-city as opposed to small-town.++

++Just to clarify, I love my small town (even if I’ve moved away from it for the time being). I love the way it looks and the way it smells. I love its predictability and its inhabitants. I love its tractors, farms, dirt roads. It’s beautiful in a way I can’t begin to describe. Because it’s home. And it always will be.

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I got a new job in September. And I knew without knowing that it was going to change my life. At the time, I let the anxiety of something new, something different, take center stage. I worried about having made the right decision. About leaving the past behind me. About embracing the present and all it had to offer.

And suddenly, but gradually, things started falling into place. I found myself in a work environment where growth was encouraged and supported. Where my coworkers were (and are) becoming my friends.

I moved to Lakewood, to a neighborhood where the houses look like storybook dwellings and the trees really have roots. To a home that feels like home—and did immediately—where I’m surrounded by neighbors who are friendly, helpful, and welcoming.

One day, very recently, as I was walking my inherited (awesome sauce) dog around the block, it hit me: I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.

Every person I’ve met, everything I’ve experienced, was leading me right here, right now. To my job, to my home, to the people in my life.

And it’ll change, because nothing stays the same forever. But what I’ve learned is this. ...

To live in the present, to do what makes you happy, to stop apologizing for the mistakes you’ve made, to listen to your intuition (even when you’re afraid), to spend less time dwelling on the past or preparing for the future (because I’m sorry, folks, but it’s not guaranteed), to trust that everything—every single thing—has its purpose.

And maybe most importantly, to believe that nothing in this life is accidental.  <3